Sheep Begin Hiding Lambs After Trump Announces “Patriot Games,” Accidentally Invents Dystopia

The sheep entered a full panic trot this week after Donald Trump announced the “Patriot Games,” a televised competition featuring one youth from every state, which immediately triggered several emergency bleats and the spontaneous construction of hay-based bunkers.

Pasture officials attempted to reassure the flock that the games would be “fun” and “patri…